Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

Gremlins and Pollyanna

August 4, 2008

Anybody out there remember the movie Gremlins? Well the Gremlins have been at work again. I wrote a post yesterday both on here and on my caringbridge and carepage websites and they all got eaten. So now I am retyping the post in word so it can’t get eaten again. Anyway enough about the Gremlins, although I have an idea for a post abut them which will probably appear tomorrow.

A friend recently gave me what I consider the best advice I have had for a long time. He said there is a positive in every situation- we just have to find it. While I am not about to go all Pollyanna on you all, I do think its good advice and have been thinking about it a lot since our conversation. Sometimes the positives are easy to find and other times we need to look harder for them. The positive in losing my posts might be that I am explaining better this time. The positives in having undiagnosed chronic health issues for 3+ years are harder to find. I guess the thing that I hope is positive is that by the time the doctors figure out what is wrong with me (we think they have figured it out but are waiting on biopsy results to be sure) that the treatment will be better. Another positive in the situation is that I have met a bunch of wonderful, kind and caring people who I may not have met otherwise.

What are the positives in your life today?


Greatful for what I have

May 31, 2008

This post was written in response to a comment that I should be grateful for what I have and not whine about having different abilities.

I am lucky and blessed in so many ways. Compared to most people I know I am relatively unaffected by the CP. Sure, I use a wheelchair to get around and have difficulty with fine motor tasks and there are times when I cannot transfer by myself but there is so much that I can do and this has given me opportunities that many people with CP don’t have. I can communicate and function without a lot of physical support (I can feed myself and take myself to the toilet as long as it is set up with rails etc). I understand that I am lucky in these ways and I think I show that by not complaining about the things that I cant do yet society seems to be set on reminding me of this fact at every chance it can.

Take the other day for example. I had travelled into a nearby city. I had some shopping to do so we hit the shops for a couple of hours and in that time I had no less than 11 people tell me I was lucky because of something in relation to my different abilities (I don’t like the word disability). Your so lucky to have that wheelchair was a common comment. I wish I had one was another. I’m not quite sure why people think it is so great to have a wheelchair, mostly I think they were tired of walking around the shops, but I just wish they would be careful what they wish for: it might just happen to them one day. I guess if this happened to some of the more influential people (a politician for example) that have made similar comments to me then it could be a good thing because I bet that services for people with different abilities would be greatly improved if those people who control such services needed them. Am I being selfish to think this way? I hope not for I am truly grateful that I have had the opportunities I have had- I just want to ensure that I have more in the future and that future generations do as well.


May 16, 2008

I have been thinking a lot about change in my mini absence from “the blog that I’m not sure if anyone is reading” as I have renamed this site in my head. I have been reflecting on my life now and certain things that I would like to or things that I know I need to change. Like, I would like to be more organised and I am working on being more organised as I know that this will reduce the stress in my life which in turn will be better for my health (which is the main reason for my mini absence from blogging- poor health).

In thinking about change I have thought about my life before now and what I would change if I had the chance. At first I was freaked out by the amount of stuff I would change but, I realised it wasn’t so much events that I would change but rather my attitude to them. For example, when I was in high school the teachers decided that I was unable to complete biology, chemistry and maths because I would supposedly need too much help from an integration aide for the work to be considered my own (This is crazy because I could always tell the aide what to do even when I couldn’t physically do the work). At the time I accepted this decision without question or complaint but now I realise that the school had no right to do this and I would love to be able to go back and stand up to them and do those subjects anyway.

I know that I can’t go back but only forward. Please join me on the journey of change throughout my life and let me know I am not alone- what would you change about your life if you could?